Humour, images et réflexions insolites



"La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l'on n'a pas ri" - Chamfort


jeudi 11 septembre 2008

C'est l'histoire d'un mec...



C'est l'histoire d'un mec...
Un gars qui se balade dans la rue se fait arrêter par un gangster
cagoulé et armé d'un pied de chaise en bois :
- Hé, toi ! File-moi ta montre.
Le gars lui donne sa montre, une Rolex contrefaite.
Le voleur se plaint:
- C'est quoi ça ? Une contrefaçon ? Quelle merde !File-moi ton
porte-monnaie.
Le gars lui donne son porte-monnaie en plastique, imitation Pierre
Cardin avec 3 tickets de métro, une photo d'identité et deux centimes
d'euros.
Le voleur s'énerve :
- Tu te fous de moi ?
- File-moi les clés de ta caisse !
Le gars lui tend les clés d'une AX verte pourrie modèle 87...
- Qu'est que c'est toute cette merde ? Ta veste de costard est usée,
ton portable est préhistorique, t'as des trous dans tes chaussures.
Bordel, t'es encore plus mal que moi ! C'est quoi ton job ?
Le mec répond :
- Je suis policier.
Le voleur, relevant en partie sa cagoule, demande :
- Toi aussi ? ! De quelle zone ?




un envoi de Jacques "Depi"

mardi 9 septembre 2008

Flash routiers en Belgique: GPS & mise à jour





un intéressant envoi de Jean-Marie "Duc" (même si avec mon Solex je ne risque pas de dépasser les vitesses limites!)

lundi 8 septembre 2008

CERN: le rap de l'accélérateur de particules!

fou mais vrai : pour populariser ce centre de science de très haut niveau qui est un peu trop méconnu du grand public, des techniciens du CERN ont sorti une chanson en "rap" - un style américain où on parle plus qu'on ne chante vraiment, mais si c'est lancinant et insupportable avec les textes plein de haine anti-occidentaux des rappeurs français, ici le style permet de comprendre ce qui se dit. C'est pas plus mal puisque c'est le but..






https://www.msu.edu/~mcalpin9/lhc_rap/largehadron.html

Vimeo vidéo, téléchargeable si on s'enregistre sur le site, format .mp4

TeacherTube, vidéo téléchargeable si on s'enregistre, format .flv

Original mp3

Vocals - pour les remixeurs




The Large Hadron Rap

Twenty-seven kilometers of tunnel under ground
Designed with mind to send protons around
A circle that crosses through Switzerland and France
Sixty nations contribute to scientific advance
Two beams of protons swing round, through the ring they ride
‘Til in the hearts of the detectors, they’re made to collide
And all that energy packed in such a tiny bit of room
Becomes mass, particles created from the vacuum
And then…

LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone
ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions
CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind
They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.
The LHC accelerates the protons and the lead
And the things that it discovers will rock you in the head.

We see asteroids and planets, stars galore
We know a black hole resides at each galaxy’s core
But even all that matter cannot explain
What holds all these stars together – something else remains
This dark matter interacts only through gravity
And how do you catch a particle there’s no way to see
Take it back to the conservation of energy
And the particles appear, clear as can be

You see particles flying, in jets they spray
But you notice there ain’t nothin’, goin’ the other way
You say, “My law has just been violated – it don’t make sense!
There’s gotta be another particle to make this balance.”
And it might be dark matter, and for first
Time we catch a glimpse of what must fill most of the known ‘Verse.
Because…

LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone
ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions
CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind
They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.

Antimatter is sort of like matter’s evil twin
Because except for charge and handedness of spin
They’re the same for a particle and its anti-self
But you can’t store an antiparticle on any shelf
Cuz when it meets its normal twin, they both annihilate
Matter turns to energy and then it dissipates

When matter is created from energy
Which is exactly what they’ll do in the LHC
You get matter and antimatter in equal parts
And they try to take that back to when the universe starts
The Big Bang – back when the matter all exploded
But the amount of antimatter was somehow eroded
Because when we look around we see that matter abounds
But antimatter’s nowhere to be found.
That’s why…

LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone
ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions
CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind
They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.
The LHC accelerates the protons and the lead
And the things that it discovers will rock you in the head.

The Higgs Boson – that’s the one that everybody talks about.
And it’s the one sure thing that this machine will sort out
If the Higgs exists, they ought to see it right away
And if it doesn’t, then the scientists will finally say
“There is no Higgs! We need new physics to account for why
Things have mass. Something in our Standard Model went awry.”

But the Higgs – I still haven’t said just what it does
They suppose that particles have mass because
There is this Higgs field that extends through all space
And some particles slow down while other particles race
Straight through like the photon – it has no mass
But something heavy like the top quark, it’s draggin’ its ***
And the Higgs is a boson that carries a force
And makes particles take orders from the field that is its source.
They’ll detect it….

LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone
ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions
CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind
They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.

Now some of you may think that gravity is strong
Cuz when you fall off your bicycle it don’t take long
Until you hit the earth, and you say, “Dang, that hurt!”
But if you think that force is powerful, you’re wrong.
You see, gravity – it’s weaker than Weak
And the reason why is something many scientists seek
They think about dimensions – we just live in three
But maybe there are some others that are too small to see
It’s into these dimensions that gravity extends
Which makes it seem weaker, here on our end.
And these dimensions are “rolled up” – curled so tight
That they don’t affect you in your day to day life
But if you were as tiny as a graviton
You could enter these dimensions and go wandering on
And they'd find you...

When LHCb sees where the antimatter’s gone
ALICE looks at collisions of lead ions
CMS and ATLAS are two of a kind
They’re looking for whatever new particles they can find.
The LHC accelerates the protons and the lead
And the things that it discovers will rock you in the head.



(un tuyau d'Hugo T., dont on ignorait les penchants scientifiques ;-)

dimanche 7 septembre 2008

Journée des dérangés: que faire quand vous vous ennuyez

Que faire quand vous n'avez rien à faire?






















Aujourd'hui, c'est la Journée Internationale des Dérangés


Soyez sympa, envoyez un message de soutien aux dérangés que vous connaissez, comme je le fais pour vous via cette page-ci

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Un dérangeant envoi de Sophoclès!